Family Ministry

What IS family ministry in the church? These days, most "ministries" in the church seem to end up being "activity" oriented ministries if we're not careful. Single Adult ministry, Youth Ministry, Senior Adult Ministry, and more, can often end up becoming a list of upcoming "events", aimed at keeping our particular constituent group busily engaged in an endless list of calendar activities designed to do what, exactly?

Family ministry, on the other hand, isn't so clear cut, and is one that most churches overlook. I've been working for about 18 months at starting, from scratch, a "family ministry" where I work, working to engage about 5700 churches in the process, and it's been terribly hard even just to find anyone to add to the mailing list! It is so rare to find a church that even acknowledges that they HAVE a family ministry. Rarer still is the church that engages or hires a "Family Minister" or "Minister to Families", and extremely rare is the volunteer who is engaged in the process of ministering to families.

What IS becoming more common in several of our larger churches is the trend of those who are engaged in Ministry to Preschoolers, Children, or Youth, of renaming their respective ministry to something like, "Minister to Families with Preschoolers", or Youth, Or Children, etc. Which is a trend I actually agree with. It's truth in advertising, if you are actually doing what the ministry ought to be about. Real preschool ministry IS ministering to the FAMILY of that preschooler, not just preparing for a good Sunday morning experience for the preschooler in Sunday School.

D6 is a group who agrees heartily in the supposition that we in the church cannot do what we've tried for many years to do. I.E. - to disciple the children of the members of our congregations. We've tried to do it. We've even promised to do it. But it's impossible for us, in one or two hours a week, to accomplish what the FAMILY ought to be doing in 168 hours during the week. D6 is built on the scripture in Dueteronomy 6:6-9 -

"6:6 These words I am commanding you today must be kept in mind, 6:7 and you must teach 12 them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road, 13 as you lie down, and as you get up. 6:8 You should tie them as a reminder on your forearm 14 and fasten them as symbols 15 on your forehead. 6:9 Inscribe them on the doorframes of your houses and gates."

And the premise behind the ministry of D6 is that we in the church need to change the FOCUS of our ministry - from seeking to disciple the children, to seeking to EQUIP the PARENTS and FAMILIES to disciple their own children. Our time on Sunday ought to be better spent EQUIPPING parents to disciple their own children. Because we cannot accomplish in 1 hour what the parents are called by God to accomplish in 168.

See more at www.d6family.com

Our real goal, then, in preschool, children's, and youth ministry, is to build relationships with those FAMILIES, and look for ministry opportunities there. If we can impact and improve the FAMILY atmosphere, the FAMILY experience, the spiritual condition of the FAMILY, we will make a MUCH greater impact on the lives of those preschoolers, children, and youth.

Oh, how I wish someone had gotten this concept when I was a young parent. How I needed that kind of intervention! But see, I was in the church. We were there every week! I was even on staff! But we were in desperate need. But our church was doing nothing for families. And our own family was falling apart.

Look at the family for ministry opportunities and you'll never run out of things to do, places to minister, opportunities for service and real change.

The needs are overwhelming, but you'll have your pick of places to start:

Financial needs - Financial Peace University w/ Dave Ramsey
Relationship challenges - Marriage on the Rock w/ Jimmy Evans
Pre-marriage education - Prepare to Last w/ Jeff & Debbie McElroy
Help for families raising blended families - http://www.blendedfamilyfocus.com/
Parenting Help - Scream Free Parenting - raising your kids by keeping your cool
and the list goes on and on. Wherever you find a need, look for and discover a variety of resources and tools to offer to assist your families with meeting those needs.

• You could offer short term classes - and YOU don't have to teach them! Ask one of your families to help teach them! Someone passionate about that particular need!
• You could offer support groups, bible studies, misison opportunities, mentoring opportunities, lists of online helps, library resources, and so much more.
• If, for example, "help with household repairs for single parents" was one of the needs you discovered, you could arrange for once a quarter, on a Saturday, your older adults to have a "Free Home Repair Day". Your church could donate materials leading up to the date, based on the projects that have been submitted, and then people could sign up for particular projects based upon their expertise. You could have a dozen or so project teams to go out to do a couple of projects each on that day and make a real difference in the lives of some single parents!
• Look for needs and then creatively look for a means of meeting those needs. That's family ministry. It MAY involve finding some counseling resources, but it won't necessarily mean you have to personally counsel. (don't get in over your head here. Know when to refer. Build a list of local Christian counselors who will take your members at a reduced rate. You may even find a church member who would exchange office space for a greatly reduced rate for church members, etc.)

What are YOU doing in family ministry? If someone at YOUR church would be interested in being the point-person for family ministry discussion, receiving email and information about upcoming family ministry events, sharing information about family ministry with your church, etc., then join our family ministry email lisi at the BGCT. Email me at keith.lowry@bgct.org and ask to be put on our family ministry email list and I'll send you periodic updates about family ministry. We're just building this list, and we'd love to include you.

Meanwhile, look for opportunities to minister to and equip families to do what God has ordained all along that they do - to "revere the Lord your God that you will keep all his statutes and commandments that I am giving you – you, your children, and your grandchildren – all your lives, to prolong your days", (Deuteronomy 6:3-4) - and to make disciples of their own children.

In Christ

Keith Lowry